In And Out Of Hospital During The Covid Pandemic
27 Year Old Mum Of Two Shares Her Story Of What It Was Like As A Sickle Cell Patient In Hospital During The Covid-19 Pandemic.
My name is Chadelle, I’m 27 years old living in London with two young children aged 2 and 4. My experience during lockdown while living with sickle cell was very frightening and worrying.
When lockdown first began I really thought I’d cope with not being able to see my family and friends and take my children places. Little did I know I was wrong; it almost made me go into depression, which then had a massive impact on my health. People with any health conditions were automatically deemed as high risk and fell under the vulnerable category. This meant we had to isolate for twelve weeks according to the government. Living on my own with two young children can be very lonely at times and I desperately craved for adult company.
Ready To Give Up
During the first few weeks of the Covid pandemic, I was constantly in and out of hospital. The amount of admissions I’ve had has been the most since I was a teenager. Eight admissions in the space of six weeks! One of those admissions was due to fluid being on my lungs as well as an infection. The constant hospital admissions made me sick and tired of being sick and tired. It also meant I had to consume much more medication than normal. I got to a point where I felt like sickle cell had me and not me having sickle cell. It felt like a burden in my own body, this caused me to have a lack self confidence. I started to hate myself and who I was; Was it too much to ask for me to be normal for once and pain free? I felt like less of a woman; not being able to care for my children let alone myself. I was ready to give up on myself and everything altogether.
Hospital During Covid Pandemic
Being in hospital during COVID-19 meant that I wasn’t allowed visitors and this effected me mentally and emotionally. Hospitals became a lot more busier which meant wait times were a lot more longer than usual. Wards were fuller and I was being dumped anywhere they had a bed. There was one time I was admitted and placed on a ward where there was potential COVID-19 positive patients. I was devastated, I couldn’t risk my health as well as my children’s health so I discharged my self even though I was in agony and struggled to breathe at times. This decision caused me to be readmitted to hospital a few days later.
Day in day out staring at four walls listening to machines beep persistently. I felt like a prisoner, it was like me against the world. No one to talk to, no decent food to eat, too weak to pick up my phone and respond back to “get well soon Chads” messages or return any calls. I felt so hopeless and found myself crying daily without fail. I just wanted the pain to stop.
My two children kept me going during the difficult time of being in and out of hospital. I couldn’t bear to allow my children to see me in pain, being away and them unable to visit me. It breaks my heart when I’m unable to be the mum they are use to me being. Putting my faith in God also helped me through this difficult hurdle. God has never failed me and every obstacle I’ve been through in life has strengthened me. Whatever the challenge is, I can have the determination to see things through as I find my strength in God.
Lately I have been stronger than ever I’ve learnt to not stress over things that I’m unable to control and focus on my blessings. Put all my trust in the Lord and not lean on my own understanding. I haven’t had any recent hospital admission, I’m a lot more happier and healthier within my self.
I was born a fighter, I am living as a fighter and I will die a fighter.
You can follow Chadelle on Instagram @chads18